Navigating COVID - Moving Forward
Over the last few posts I’ve been thinking about emotions. I talked about the things that keep us from being able to speak to the Lord, the barriers that might hinder us from engaging our hearts. And I’ve talked about the different things that help us to see that our hearts are active, now the question at hand is what to do about that.
So say you’ve noticed that there’s something wrong, you’ve seen some of the patterns we talked about earlier emerging. Now what?
1. Pause. You may not be able to do it in the moment it occurs, but that’s ok. Even if you wait until the evening when things quiet down a bit, stop and consider that moment. What might be stirring within you underneath the surface?
2. Try and put a word on it. Any word. Sometimes we get caught up trying to figure out exactly how we feel and it can be frustrating when you know something is wrong but you can’t quite figure out what it is. How lovely that when we pray we’re praying to the one who created us. Psalm 139 describes it this way – You know when I sit and when I stand. You know what I’m thinking. You know what I’m about to say before I say it. No matter where I go you’re there leading me, even if it’s dark and bewildering, it’s not unknown to you. What does this mean for us when we get an inkling that there’s something wrong and we aren’t even sure what it is? It means we come to the Lord with whatever we’ve got. Sometimes my own prayers start with a generality – “I’m not ok Lord.” And then I tell him how confused I am about my own heart. Or maybe it might sound like this – “There’s something brewing in me Lord, a storm that’s seeping out in the way I say things, in my attitude. Search me and show me what it is that I might know who you are in it.”
3. Speak it. Yes, first to the Lord, but also to other people. During the pandemic it’s been a surprise to me how much of a blessing it’s been to other people when I share what’s going on in my own heart. On my end I feel confused and I wonder if I’m making any sense, but more times than once someone has come back and mentioned how helpful it was to hear someone else in the same place they were. The world we’re living in right now is more isolated than usual, it’s a lovely moment when we feel like someone is in this with us, that we’re not alone. Your goal in speaking to other people isn’t to present an eloquent description of something all wrapped up and finished, the goal is to share yourself while it’s in process. To invite others in to know you in the confusion, to pray for you and the ways you’re struggling.
4. Sharpen your language. A broad cry for help is a great place to start but it’s not where you want to ultimately land. As you speak your heart to the Lord and speak with others usually you’ll find that a clarity will come to what is stirring underneath. For me this started with a broad realization that I was avoiding certain things. The only language I could put on it was that I felt unsettled and began praying that the Lord would be a rock beneath me. Then sure enough, there I was in the meat section of the grocery store irritated that I had to alter my meal plan yet again, and sort of ashamed that this was as irritating as it was, and then I was able to put my finger on weariness. It’s not that my meat choice was that big of a deal but that I was growing weary in all of this and each little change was beginning to add up.
5. Pray with specificity. Putting my finger on weariness opened up a whole different kind of prayer. I began to consider my fragility in this world and who the Lord is to weak people. I began to look for his promises to the weary and hold onto them even in the small moments. I began to pray for his strength to sustain me and help me. I began to take my eyes off of my own weariness and dwell on his strength. And I began to invite other people to speak these things to me when I saw that I wasn’t doing well, that they might pray these things for me as well. As you put your finger on more narrow words, work to expand them just like I did above. There are many different aspects to the things we struggle with and each angle will fill out a robust prayer.
If you find yourself struggling, follow these steps and see where it takes you. Bring others into the process, use it as a tool to be known and to walk through a tumultuous season with the body of Christ. The thing about learning how to bring your heart before the Lord is that it’s not a magic pill. There’s no certain guarantee that whatever it is that you’re struggling with will dissipate or resolve instantaneously. However, the encouraging thing is, that whether or not you might need to seek additional care, the process of coming before the Lord and inviting your community into that process will always be for your good.
So how do you know if you ought to reach out for more care? Here are a few things that might be indicators that you need extra help:
Your thoughts are beginning to circle around ending your life. You’ve begun to act on these thoughts in any way.
Everyone has ups and downs. Everyone has days, or stretches of days that they feel like they’re sinking. But you’re noticing that the downs far outweigh the ups. You’re on a slow and steady trajectory down despite some good moments that might have been scattered in there.
You know things that might help – going for a walk, reaching out to a friend, looking for something to be thankful for, but you feel completely unable to do any of them.
A language of despair has taken over. Not just despairing moments, but you’ve entered a state of despair.
Numbness is pervasive and stubborn. Perhaps you hear things that you know ought to be encouraging but they simply sound empty.
The things you’re using to escape – alcohol, food, or entertainment for example, have escalated to the point you’re unsure if you’re able to step away from them.
The fatigue, numbness, or sadness are hindering you from accomplishing basic and necessary tasks. Some examples might be: Missing work, neglecting basic hygiene, or failing to eat.
You’ve tried all the things listed here and you still feel like you’re sinking.
My hope and my prayer for you as I’ve been writing these posts was that emotions, all the things we’re feeling under the surface, would become an avenue to draw you closer to the heart of the Lord. That you would know his care and provision in the fears and anxieties that are living in all of us right now. That you would know again the depth of his grace and mercy toward you when some of those emotions reveal hearts that need to be cultivated is his own image more clearly. And that the process of sharing these things with those around you would unite you more fully to the body of Christ.