Psalm 131 for 2020

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
    my eyes are not raised too high;

I am not stepping out of my role as a dependent creature

I am living within my own limitations.

Limitations of knowledge, of wisdom, of understanding – it’s ok that I don’t see it clearly, that sometimes I don’t know which way is up, that I can’t see a solution to the complex brokenness around me. 

Limitations of capacity – it’s ok when the upheaval of the world around me affects me. Ok when my brain can’t seem to connect one thought to another. I am indeed a limited creature. 

Limitations of influence – it’s ok that I can’t change it all.

I do not think too highly of my own opinion

Pride is near. How quickly and subtly I begin to believe that I ought to function like the all-powerful, all-knowing God instead of the dependent creature in his tender care. 

I do not occupy myself with things
    too great and too marvelous for me.

           So much is too great and marvelous for me these days.

           My thoughts are not consumed by things beyond me.

I am not letting my thoughts propel forward into predictive fears - all the whats ifs, the worst case scenarios.

My focus is on what is before me – What does faithfulness today look like?

Maybe I can’t change social structures but I can see ways that I fail to delight in the beautiful created otherness of people around me today.  

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

I haven’t just waited for it to calm itself down – the kind of calmness that comes when you simply adjust to a new normal.

I’m playing an active role in quieting it before the Lord.

like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Like a child

              Dependent, vulnerable

Weaned

              Who knows her mother will take care of her needs

              Who isn’t fretting about when her meal will come

              Whose soul has known the provision of the Lord

                           Whether it is the steady provision of manna (Exodus 16),

Nutritious but perhaps monotonous.

Psalm 3:5 “I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the LORD sustained me.”

                         Or the special provision of quail,

Exciting and more obvious.

                        Or the feast of the Promised Land.

                                     Provision that points forward to Heavenly fulfillment. 

 O Israel, hope in the Lord
    from this time forth and forevermore.

       O Kristin, hope in the LORD

                           Not in…

Normalcy or… In a world that is known or…

The end of COVID or… Financial stability or… Social distancing measures or… Vaccinations or…

Constitutional rights or… the election or…

Change or…

Not in anything that falls short of…          

Hope in the one true thing that is steadfast and sure.

Hope in promises and realities that are sure to come.

Hope in the God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

         From this moment going forward and always.

                           Lord help me!

**Much of my understanding of Psalm 131 is borrowed from David Powlison. Click here to read his article in the Journal of Biblical Counseling.